Where can I start with this film? Let's go with the storyline. It's predictable and formulaic, essentially a re-hash of previous films. There is again the (horribly stupid and convoluted) trope that the instrument of our destruction is also the instrument of our salvation. By this entry, there have been four different MacGuffins, each of which is in some way the Transformers' life force? Dang, they have a lot of life forces. The character development is awful. Pre-existing characters are sort-of thrown on you, so if you've never seen any other movies in the series, good luck on liking the characters. The major new additions felt like rip-offs of Rey and BB-8 from "Star Wars", but they pale in comparison. Izabella (with a z), also known as angsty Rey, is given two "heroine moments". (minor spoilers) The rest of the time, she plays little kid in distress. I'm pretty sure that they are trying to set her up as the protagonist for the rest of the series, since Marky Mark is supposedly out, but I sincerely hope they don't. The BB-8 rip-off even looks like BB-8. Then the dialogue! My God, the dialogue! It is so cheerily written. I swear, one of the phrases that came out of Sir Anthony Hopkins's mouth was: "That's one b***hin' car." What the f**k Michael Bay? Do you have no self-respect.
That's just the beginning of the issues. The film is in four different aspect ratios! Four! It's for no good reason either, they just jump between them in the middle of a scene. With a budget that high, you would think that they would be able to pay for conversion. It made me feel like I was watching an unfinished product, as if Michael Bay slapped together some footage he had by throwing it in the air and putting it together in whatever condition it landed. The CGI is good in spots, but in others, it looks overly cartoony. Even the tone that is done pretty well in previous films cannot be mimicked. It's watchable, but it isn't very funny nor very exciting. It's just sort-of bland.
As a whole, I can not in good conscious recommend this film to anyone. Yet, it is still watchable, so it narrowly avoids the lowest band of ratings. I wish that the studios would just cut the word "Knight" out of the title and make it "Transformers: The Last".
Transformers: The Last Knight
Big Tuna's Rating: D-
How Did I Watch It?: In theaters.
Had I Seen It Before?: No.
Would I Watch It Again?: I truly hope not to.